Just over a year ago my grandson Alden and I were hit by a van while we were lying on the grass at the Ardingly show ground. We were crushed under the front bumper and both sustained serious injuries. Many people have described our survival as a miracle and I truly believe that God saved our lives.
Alden was airlifted to St George’s hospital and I went to Royal Sussex County Brighton. When the helicopter left with Alden it was feared that his injuries were life threatening and the relief we felt on hearing that although he had a fractured pelvis there was no sign of internal bleeding as they had feared was indescribable.
Due to Pete’s Multiple Sclerosis he has complex care needs and at the time I was looking after him with increasing difficulty at home with the help of Carers. It was immediately obvious that I was going to be unable to care for him for some time. From A&E I managed to contact his regular respite home and arrange for them to collect him and his equipment the next morning. Family and friends rallied round and kept him safe until then.
I freely admit to being something of a control freak and over the next few months of surgery, healing and initially being able to do nothing much for myself or Pete I had to constantly turn to God to give me grace and patience.
It was a source of comfort to us both that Pete had been able to go to Heatherley where he was known from his respite visits over several years and there were staff who knew Pete when he could still talk and knew the important things such as never putting him in front of Eastenders and to make sure he got to the service held there on Mondays.
Heatherley had given us some unwelcome news in the March of last year informing us that, although Pete could go there for respite if they had a bed free, we could no longer book ahead as I needed to if, for instance, I booked a holiday. I had spent three months looking at alternatives and found one home which met his requirements. Then that one had promptly failed its CQC inspection. Due to a very high demand for the type of care Pete needs, exacerbated by similar homes being closed locally, we found ourselves in a position where if Pete came home we couldn’t have regular respite and if we could no longer cope at home there was no guarantee of a bed being available.
Pete in the meantime had been at Heatherley for 4 months and was doing really well. He had been given a room with doors to a patio on the side of the home we preferred. All things considered we prayerfully took the decision that he would remain there. This has meant much adjustment for us both emotionally, practically and also financially. We have valued the support of friends and family as we continue in this new way of life.
I have been particularly helped through this time by certain scriptures. Brian Maidstone preached from Zephaniah 3 v17 The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over us with singing. This painted such a picture for me of the rela-tionship God wants with us and his great care for us.
When you experience a big life changing event there are questions you have and a sense of puzzlement that things have happened in a particular way. 1 Corinthians 13v12 says “for now we see through a glass darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as I am known”.
In having to constantly seek Gods assurance that I can trust him in this situation I have come to real-ise in a new way that it actually doesn’t matter if I can’t see the whole picture, God can.
Since I was a child I have been fascinated by white deer and am lucky enough to live where there are now 3. In the past as I have paced around the woods with the 
dogs, mulling over something with God in my head, I have always felt his reassurance when I see one, as if he is saying “Yes I’m still listening look what I’ve found for you” In this difficult year when I have needed extra reassurance I have lost count of my white deer sightings.
In one of my daily readings last year about how overwhelmed we can feel by trials and troubles there was the phrase “we cannot be destroyed” – this stuck with me. Had I died in the accident I would not have been destroyed but in the words of the song “my soul will go on” and that being the case we need to be sure of where that soul will be.
Sue.
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